Living well is one thing! We agree that the person who lives well seems naturally comfortable in her skin, has a smiling face, an outstretched hand and a foot placed forward showing his faith in a promising future! You might as well write that she is confident in herself, that nothing seems to be missing, that she values herself and that she knows how to succeed in her life! When we meet her, we envy her a little or a lot. In short, we strongly desire her confidence and the independence she exudes.
So we buy a book or two on emotional management or on taking charge of our talents or on coaching for excellence. We read a thousand and one tips and tricks that we think we already know. We attend a conference on leadership, we copy the way of being and the pride of the one who is in front, on the stage, in first place, we applaud him or her. Then you go home.
The next day, you go back to work, sometimes a little more motivated, often with the same nervous tension, the same silent disappointment and lack of enthusiasm or excitement. If, by misfortune, we pass in front of a mirror, we see ourselves carrying our suitcase with dull and hopeless colors! We immediately turn away. We try something we've learned like conscious breathing, but we quickly give up! We walk faster to recover the lost time and especially not to arrive late.
Believe me! I have done all this too and more! I've taken training courses, completed studies and practiced mental management countless times. Until one day, an excellence coach asked me about my own excellence, my own survival system 101. Then, in an exceptional follow-up of about ten sessions and an intensive seminar training, with a serious personal application, I realized that I had developed by myself something else than what the trainers try to say or what the books advise! Let me tell you the secrets of my own excellence to give you the taste to find yours.
After a coaching or a seminar on our excellence, followed to complete my diploma in NLP certified professional coaching, it is surprising to realize how much we have our own keys to live well with ourselves.
In fact, our whole life is a serious search for validation or not of our values, for positive resilience and personal success. However, unfortunately, this remains unconscious until the day when the right and timely questioning and professional listening of another allows us to bounce back and declare outright:
- But I am great!
Three questions and three authentic answers are enough to get to that point. Here they are.
1: What makes you different from others?
2: What do you get out of this difference?
3: And if we increased the tone of these differences, what would be surprising for you?
While in her office, I assert how my differences hinder me from integrating socially with others, the excellence coach, seated in front of me, asks me to name them right away.
I declare them in turn: my Belgian accent, my age as a retiree without a pension, my ardor as an Aries ascending to Aries and my genuine desire to help as many people as possible to find their positive abilities.
Then she deflects the subject by asking me how much I earn from these differences.
For a few moments I stand speechless, finally admitting that these are my positive qualities that most people recognize.
My accent makes them feel confident, my age questions their own idea of a quiet retreat, and my enthusiasm leads them to challenge themselves.
Finally, my excellence coach suggests that I become so aware of these differences that I turn up the volume, much like turning the sound knob on an old radio. She encourages me to move forward with these three differences and rather than trying to hide them, to bring them out more prominently so that I can better grasp all the positives.
This excellence coaching was a revelation for me. In fact, I discovered that my particular characteristics, my differences, represented the tools of my excellence strategy built at the very heart of my life experiences.
Bringing them to the forefront became a solution for more self-esteem, confidence and living well.
Do the same now! Learn to smile when you discover that you are excellent because of your differences, even if ...!
Cécile Hontoy
(Swami Purushananda)
Excellence Coach
Purushahontoy@hotmail.com
Tél: 450-601-4169